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Who Is Running Your Life? You Or Your Anger?

All therapists in San Diego will agree on one thing: it is perfectly normal for a person to feel angry in certain situations. While it is perfectly normal to get irritated at a person because he endangered your life by his bad driving or when someone is 3 hours late and did not inform you, sometimes the anger can get out of control. In a nutshell, anger is healthy and normal in the circumstances when an individual feels hurt, vulnerable or needs to defend himself, but it becomes a problem in the situations when people act on it and engage in destructive behaviors against others.

The destructive anger should be addressed immediately

There are essentially three types of anger feelings, out of which two are highly negative for both the person feeling them and the others around him. The most violent manifestation of anger is rage, namely that outward uncontrolled expression of fury often resulting in a visible and destructive explosion. When a person is overwhelmed by rage, he will often break or destroy objects or hit the other person. The good news is that rage is not often taken to that point and most furious people will simply be verbally aggressive.

Another very dangerous type of anger, which at times can result in rage, is resentment. Resentment can be defined as a feeling of rage directed at a person or object that is kept inside and suppressed. However, even though it does not have the same explosive manifestation as rage, it is important to point out that this feeling tends to smolder and build up and have negative physiological and psychological consequences for the person. When the situation gets out of control and the individual cannot hold it back anymore, then it can easily transform into a rampant rage.

The only positive type of anger, often considered appropriate to express in circumstances that annoy a person, is indignation. Indignation implies expressing the anger feeling very clearly, but by using calm and controlled means. It is important to note that the three aforementioned anger feelings can occur both separately and combined, usually depending on the circumstances that causes them.

Controlling anger starts with controlling the thoughts

Very often people are told they are angry, but they are too furious to admit that. Therefore, if you are looking to control anger, the first step is to admit anger. The next steps in managing anger require identifying the source of the feeling and analyzing the real reasons of anger. In the vast majority of cases, angry people start yelling at others for minor things not realizing that the real motive for their manifestation is something else.

The other things that can be done to keep anger under control via a DIY approach is to make use of imagery. Stop thinking about what infuriates you, make sure your expectations are not too high and try to be more understanding in the future. If none of these work and anger is still present to torture you, then an idea is to consult any of the therapists in San Diego to learn advanced relaxation and cognitive techniques.

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Is Failure Really The End Of The World?

As the San Diego therapists put it very well, humans are born with an innate drive to be successful, regardless of whether it is in their careers, family, social life or other dimensions and areas. The problem here is that today’s driven society only accepts success and totally discards the lengthy or difficult part of achieving it. According to Erik Erikson, the creator of the theory of social development, individuals are prone to undergo several stages in their lives, which are focused on achieving success in a certain aspect of life. However, in order to be able to achieve the successful stage, the individual must first experience failure.

About expectations and hopes and their relationship with failure

It often happens that individuals who fail at achieving something are immediately punished, be it by their children, spouses, employers, colleagues, parents, etc. While it is true that a person cannot be 100% confident all the time, and a little bit of fear can be a motivational stimulus, it can also become an obsession or even a phobia that will prevent that person from trying in the future.

Based on this fact, several researchers have wondered whether the paralyzing fear of failure can be linked to a high desire to achieve success. Even though there have been several studies on this topic, the results attained are mixed and cannot provide a clear answer. Therefore, some studies indicated that individuals who want to be successful badly are actually scared of failing. Other studies suggest the opposition fear-success has nothing to do with the goals and expectation a person has, but rather that the individual prefers a conservative approach to things. In other words, even though they would like to be successful, they will not risk taking any chances and hence, will not make risky decision in order not to fail.

Can the fear of failure be treated?

There are several methods a therapist can use in order to treat the fear of failure. These include, NLP, hypnotherapy, energy psychology, etc. And, the good news is that patients undergoing these treatment options usually respond positively to the therapies and are prepared to reach their full potential. The hypnotherapist’s role is to re-program the subconscious and minimize the impact of fear of failure, while the NLP practices can help an individual create his own perspective. The energy psychology is a rather new therapy mostly used in treating phobias. Even though some therapists compare this therapeutic approach to acupuncture, individuals reluctant to holistic methods should rest assured that it is very effective.

The most common treatment options for the fear of failure are the cognitive-behavioral therapies since they help the person discover new ways of thinking about his available options. The psychoanalytic approaches are used less frequently and are most effective in circumstances when there are underlying conflicts involved. In general, San Diego therapists adapt the techniques to the client and if the individual feels he has no control over his life, then he will start doing exercises that teach him how to make decisions independently.

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COMBINE – An Effective Treatment for Alcoholism?

Most people seeking help on dealing with alcohol abuse typically expect a San Diego therapist to recommend them to enroll in the classic twelve-steps program provided by Alcoholics Anonymous. However, we would like to point out that studies carried out between 2010 and 2011 have shown that the most efficient treatment method for alcoholism is a combination of behavioral therapy and medication. The paper, also known as the COMBINE study, was carried out on a representative sample of 1383 declared alcoholics and the conclusions were drawn after 20 counseling sessions. In addition to the counseling sessions with the behavioral specialist, the participants were taking prescribed drugs, namely naltrexone.

A short list of COMBINE’s findings

One of the most important discoveries of the researchers during the study was that the participants had considerably reduced the consumption of alcohol during treatment. As the study indicates, approximately 75% of the participants had reduced the consumption of alcoholic beverages from 66 to 13 per week. According to the researchers, these amazing results were possible due to naltrexone, a drug that reduced the overall craving for alcohol.

Another interesting finding of the study is that medical management combined with either naltrexone or specialized alcohol counseling doubled the complete recovery chances of the patients. As a side note, the concept of medical management refers to nine brief structured outpatient interventions provided by a medical professional. Compared to the regular alcohol dependence interventions, the medical management is more intense and some medical professionals even relate it to the importance of insulin therapy for diabetes patients.

When the patients were tested one year later, it was shown that the return to heavy drinking for the participants had dropped drastically. In short, more than half of the participants were abstinent and the best outcomes in patients were observed on those who received naltrexone or specialized alcohol counseling and medical management.

What do the results mean to alcoholics and therapists?

The findings of the study are of great importance to both behavioral therapists and primary care physicians involved in alcohol addiction treatment.

As the study showed, now therapists and doctors have a viable method of addressing this dependency without the use of drugs. At the same time, specialized alcohol counseling can be suggested as a treatment method for patients who refuse any kind of pharmaceutical treatments. Even though naltrexone can help reduce the cravings, essentially it only provides a small advantage, mostly to the patients who did not receive any counseling.

The idea of brief interventions and various therapies borrowed from other fields is relatively new. However, the intensive clinical research undertake in the past 15 years seems to indicate that the outcomes in alcoholic patients are more prolific and reduce the risks associated with heavy alcohol consumption. For the patient, this means he has several choices of addressing his problem and a higher chance of recovery. For the medical world, this opens up a new perspective regarding specialties and the importance of various professionals, such as a San Diego therapist, physician, counselor and others to collaborate.

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How Therapists Can Help With Abuse

San Diego therapists know that abuse takes many different forms; emotional, physical, sexual and many other forms. Abuse can happen at any age and to anyone, there is no list of criteria that states a person who is a certain age, color, gender, creed or personality type will fall victim to or inflict abuse.

The truth is that abuse is usually about wielding power for the abuser. This does not mean that the victim is weak; it means that the abuser has the ability to manipulate facts to suit their agenda. By inflicting pain or suffering in some way, the abuser may feel good about himself or herself for a short space of time. In fact, this may be the only time they do.

There are many cases where abusers were abused in some way themselves, and although this can be a contributory factor to their behavior, it does not by any means excuse or condone it. We always have choices and the fact is that if they are in a position of power of any kind then they have a responsibility to consider their actions and remember how they felt when they were in similar helpless situations. However, the truth is this does not happen unless they receive therapy to highlight and help their issues. This is where San Diego therapists can help.

San Diego therapists are not just there to help people who have suffered at the hands of abusers, but they can also help the abusers recognize the effect their behavior is having. They can help the abuser to face their situations and deal with their emotions that are still almost certainly tied to their past treatment as a victim.

Understanding that an abuser is a victim of sorts is not something that everyone can accept. In fact there may even be many therapists that cannot or will not try to help someone in this situation. However, if the abusers receive help and assistance, then this would help make them into better people and remove the possibility of them inflicting pain or other forms of abuse on others again. This would also reduce the amount of people suffering at their hands.

Very often, someone who is inflicting abuse of one kind or another on someone wants help but is unable to take the steps to ask for it or receive it. There are many sexual abusers who have been caught or reported to the authorities that have expressed relief at the fact that they have been caught, as they wanted to stop but were unable to. This shows that their behavior is tied to a past trigger and San Diego therapists can work with them to re-pattern the subconscious to change the habitual behavior they were suffering from.

This is not an easy route by any means and the abuser has to want to make changes, as without this consent and willingness to work for change, the change will not happen and the behavior will continue. The good news is that San Diego therapists can help remove unwanted behavior and encourage a healthier outlook for many people in these situations.

Do you know of anyone who might need help right now?

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

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Connect with your child through play therapy

Therapy in San Diego - Play therapy

It is said that play is considered as the universal language of children. Play serves an important role in a child’s development. It is much more than just a means to pass time. It is a form of expression where children can learn more about themselves and experience their first relationships through their play with other children.

Just as crying and screaming are forms of expression, it is in this way that through play that children are able to develop their emotional selves. Though they still may not have the necessary verbal and language abilities to communicate their feelings, they are still able to channel their feelings and emotions through play. Play can be utilized by parents as a means to create a strong bond with their young children. It is through playing that parents can provide love and attention to their children in ways that a child can appreciate.

On the other hand, play can also be utilized by parents and guardians as a means to foster growth and development among children. By playing with certain types of toys, a child’s motor as well as intellectual abilities are improved and developed. Among its many benefits, play therapy in San Diego is also being used in certain therapies and sessions. Based on various researches, it was found out that play can be used in solving emotional and psychological problems that children may experience. With their young minds, expressing the right emotions and words is very challenging for them. By understanding these facts, it can indeed be a problem when it comes to situations that are traumatic to a child. These events can have a great bearing on the welfare of a young child.

Knowing Play Therapy in San Diego

In the event of a traumatic situation, play can be used in it comes to rendering therapies. Play therapy is a form of psychotherapy that makes use of play and is designed to encourage the expression of positive emotions and self-esteem in a child. The concept of play therapy was first established during the first quarter of the 20th century. Through play therapy, people are able to help children develop healthy emotions and thoughts. Unlike the usual play, play therapy aims to encourage children to know as well as express themselves. It’s also the therapy being used by psychologists in terms of helping children get over traumatic experiences such as abuse, maltreatment and discrimination.

Understanding the process of play therapy in San Diego

During the said therapy, children are allowed to do something they clearly enjoy which is playing. With the presence of a facilitator during the therapy itself, children can take the opportunity to play and at the same time express any feelings or concerns that they may have. In comparison to other types of therapies, there are no strict rules and guidelines being implemented when it comes to undergoing the process of play therapy. The success and the flow of play therapy will greatly depend on the facilitator’s ability to establish a strong rapport with the child and create or re-create situations that evoke the desired emotional response.

It is important to take note and put into consideration the fact that play therapy in San Diego can take weeks and even months before expected results can be seen. With this fact, it is essential that parents as well as facilitators must have the necessary amount of patience and understanding with their children.

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How to Win the Struggle Against Depression

Feeling down lately? Have this strange feeling that the world seems to be against you? Are things not going how you plan it to be? Do you want to simply give up and retreat in a corner? If yes, then you may be experience some form of depression.


Depression is clinically defined as an emotional state wherein it exceeds the usual state of sadness or irritability. People who are depressed tend to be sad or exhibit negative behaviors such as crying, disorganized thoughts, pessimism, and so forth. They may outwardly exhibit disdainful treatment of others, aggression, or act rude. Sometimes people can usually confuse depression with the ordinary emotion of sadness.

Indeed, these two situations may be the same. However, one must bear in mind that depression is a state that often causes the disruption of a person’s normal activities. When feeling depression, people would prefer to be alone and do nothing at all as they lack the necessary drive and energy to complete a certain activity. In this situation, a depressed individual will become unproductive.


Indeed, it is normal to experience depression once in a while especially if an undesirable situation or sequence of circumstances occurs to you (and they happen to us all), such as death of a loved one, marital separation, or unemployment, just to name a few. However, the feelings of sadness usually becomes depression when it tends to be experienced over a long period of time.

Causes of Depression


There are various causes of depression. These said causes of depression greatly rely on the age as well as the gender of the affected individual. It is said that the source of depression in adolescents and teenagers usually centers itself around school related activities and affairs. Peer pressure is another influence on a young person’s life that can have an adverse affect on their self-esteem, leading to feelings of sadness and depression.

On the other hand, for fully-grown adults, sources of depression often arise from failures in their careers or relationships. As adults, many of us tend to craft “identities,” whether good or bad, and if our realities don’t align with our perceived identities, then sadness and depression can occur.

In terms of gender, women are often prone to be affected in regards to things that concern their relationship with their partners, family, and significant others. However, men are more sensitive when it comes to their work and personal achievement. Indeed, it is crucial in therapy to properly identify the cause of depression. Through this way, professional therapeutic help can be given.

How to resolve depression


Some people are ashamed to admit that they are experiencing depression, and will deny that they are. This is true as some people tend to think that depression is a mental illness. However, depression is a situation wherein profession therapist intervention is often necessary. Nonetheless, it doesn’t entail that it is a mental illness.

However, people must bear in mind that depression that is not given proper remedy can actually develop over time into a certain form of mental illness. Depressed individuals are also at greater risk of hurting themselves. Thus, it is important that people must acknowledge depression before it worsens and leads to mental or physical pain.


There are various means through which one could resolve depression. For one, if depression is still in the early stage, people could try to create some positive motivation activities. In counteracting depression, it is important you should feel good about yourself. Once you wake up in the morning, think of your blessings as well as the people who care and love you. Depressed individuals must feel secured that they are not alone.

However, if the depression is already chronic, then appropriate professional help must be given. Affected individuals can visit a therapist that is capable enough to listen and guide you in resolving your depression.