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How a Marriage Counselor Helps You Build A Better Marriage

When you are married, there are many instances where you may need to make use of therapists in San Diego to help you out with a few issues. There is a lot of stigma surrounding the concept of married couples seeking counseling or therapy. Most people think that when a married couple does this, their relationship is on the rocks and that they are at the brink of breaking up or getting a divorce.

However, the picture that is painted here is not the reality on the ground. The concept of marriage in itself is one that means that at one point or another, there will be problems of some kind and one may need to see at therapist in order to solve them.

The reason for this is that a marriage is basically a coming together of different people. The husband and wife will always have a different background, upbringing, world view and even beliefs. This is usually the case even if you try and find someone who is as compatible with you as possible. The upshot of this is that at some point in time, it is inevitable that you will have a major row. This does not necessarily signify the end of the relationship, it should be viewed as just another stumbling block that you need to go through on your way to building a great future together.

There are some cases when you need a third party to intervene and try to settle the issues that have arisen. This is where the therapists in San Diego come in. A therapist is the best party to solve such problems, since they are often very well trained at handling conflicts between individuals. When you are arguing with your wife or husband, one or both of you may be too busy to notice the point that the other one is making. When this is not resolved, one or both parties feel that the other person is not good for them after all, and this is when a divorce or breakup happens.

This means that in many cases, whether your relationship ends in divorce or not is fully dependent on how you handle such issues. A good therapist will try and find out what the root cause of the argument is, and then try to address this issue with both of you. He or she may also give you tips on how to communicate more effectively so as to avoid similar scenarios in future.

When you need to get the most out of therapists in San Diego in such a scenario, you may need to use the services of those who are especially good at conflict resolution in marriage. There are many marriage counselors in the region, and making use of some of them may be a good idea. At the end of the day, you should not think that visiting a marriage counselor is a sign of wavering trust in your partner. In fact, it is the ultimate sign that you love them and want to work out things so that you can be happier. Visiting therapists in San Diego for such reasons can actually save your marriage rather than act as a sign that it is ending.

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Who Is Running Your Life? You Or Your Anger?

All therapists in San Diego will agree on one thing: it is perfectly normal for a person to feel angry in certain situations. While it is perfectly normal to get irritated at a person because he endangered your life by his bad driving or when someone is 3 hours late and did not inform you, sometimes the anger can get out of control. In a nutshell, anger is healthy and normal in the circumstances when an individual feels hurt, vulnerable or needs to defend himself, but it becomes a problem in the situations when people act on it and engage in destructive behaviors against others.

The destructive anger should be addressed immediately

There are essentially three types of anger feelings, out of which two are highly negative for both the person feeling them and the others around him. The most violent manifestation of anger is rage, namely that outward uncontrolled expression of fury often resulting in a visible and destructive explosion. When a person is overwhelmed by rage, he will often break or destroy objects or hit the other person. The good news is that rage is not often taken to that point and most furious people will simply be verbally aggressive.

Another very dangerous type of anger, which at times can result in rage, is resentment. Resentment can be defined as a feeling of rage directed at a person or object that is kept inside and suppressed. However, even though it does not have the same explosive manifestation as rage, it is important to point out that this feeling tends to smolder and build up and have negative physiological and psychological consequences for the person. When the situation gets out of control and the individual cannot hold it back anymore, then it can easily transform into a rampant rage.

The only positive type of anger, often considered appropriate to express in circumstances that annoy a person, is indignation. Indignation implies expressing the anger feeling very clearly, but by using calm and controlled means. It is important to note that the three aforementioned anger feelings can occur both separately and combined, usually depending on the circumstances that causes them.

Controlling anger starts with controlling the thoughts

Very often people are told they are angry, but they are too furious to admit that. Therefore, if you are looking to control anger, the first step is to admit anger. The next steps in managing anger require identifying the source of the feeling and analyzing the real reasons of anger. In the vast majority of cases, angry people start yelling at others for minor things not realizing that the real motive for their manifestation is something else.

The other things that can be done to keep anger under control via a DIY approach is to make use of imagery. Stop thinking about what infuriates you, make sure your expectations are not too high and try to be more understanding in the future. If none of these work and anger is still present to torture you, then an idea is to consult any of the therapists in San Diego to learn advanced relaxation and cognitive techniques.

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What Can Be Done When A Child Resists Therapy?

More often than not, San Diego therapists are confronted with resistance to therapy, especially when they are dealing with children and young teens. However, the good news is that there are several measures parents can take in order to ensure that their child will benefit from the therapy. The best approaches on this matter however, will need to be discussed with your child’s therapist.

What causes a child to be resistant or to refuse therapy?

One of the reasons why a child will refuse to talk to a therapist is the fact that he or she perceives the therapist as a stranger and hence, feels uncomfortable to present their feelings and thoughts. The uncomfortable feeling  can be derived from the fact that the child is afraid that the therapist might pass judgment or punish him if he were to tell him how he really feels about his friends, family, school or his current thoughts about life in general. At the same time, the child might not feel that the therapist session is strictly confidential and others will know about his ‘silly’ problems.

What can parents do when confronted with this situation?

When a child refuses or does not respond to a single treatment although he needs it, parents can consider a combination of treatments. For instance, for depressed children and teens, a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy with some mild medication can prove effective. In addition, for children that are only in therapy, it is advisable to discuss the other available approaches that can be used during a session to draw his attention and make him feel safe. If the child refuses to open up or presents resistance to therapy due to shyness, then the best method here is the “lead by example” approach. For instance, you can start out with a few family sessions to create a friendly and safe environment.

Sometimes, it can happen that a child does not respond well to therapy because he feels uncomfortable with his current therapist. It is important to note that not all therapists use the same approaches, so scheduling a meeting with him beforehand can prove helpful to do a pre-screen.  Studies have shown that usually children feel more at ease with therapists of the same gender, especially when they have to discuss delicate and intimate matters. Whenever parents are unsure about the preferences of their child the best thing they can do is ask them.

Can the therapist help the child respond better to the treatment?

The short answer to this question is yes, as all professionals in the medical field are well aware of the common fears among children regarding doctors. In general, the visit to the doctor is accompanied by feelings of fear and unknown, mainly because children have a very vivid imagination and they envision the worse. At the same time, let’s not forget the negative portrays the Hollywood blockbusters have managed to create for psychiatrists and therapists alike. However, for best results and positive responses from the child, it is best to get him or her involved in finding the San Diego therapists that he/she feels comfortable around.

What are your experiences? Please let me know by leaving me a comment

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How Therapists Can Help With Abuse

San Diego therapists know that abuse takes many different forms; emotional, physical, sexual and many other forms. Abuse can happen at any age and to anyone, there is no list of criteria that states a person who is a certain age, color, gender, creed or personality type will fall victim to or inflict abuse.

The truth is that abuse is usually about wielding power for the abuser. This does not mean that the victim is weak; it means that the abuser has the ability to manipulate facts to suit their agenda. By inflicting pain or suffering in some way, the abuser may feel good about himself or herself for a short space of time. In fact, this may be the only time they do.

There are many cases where abusers were abused in some way themselves, and although this can be a contributory factor to their behavior, it does not by any means excuse or condone it. We always have choices and the fact is that if they are in a position of power of any kind then they have a responsibility to consider their actions and remember how they felt when they were in similar helpless situations. However, the truth is this does not happen unless they receive therapy to highlight and help their issues. This is where San Diego therapists can help.

San Diego therapists are not just there to help people who have suffered at the hands of abusers, but they can also help the abusers recognize the effect their behavior is having. They can help the abuser to face their situations and deal with their emotions that are still almost certainly tied to their past treatment as a victim.

Understanding that an abuser is a victim of sorts is not something that everyone can accept. In fact there may even be many therapists that cannot or will not try to help someone in this situation. However, if the abusers receive help and assistance, then this would help make them into better people and remove the possibility of them inflicting pain or other forms of abuse on others again. This would also reduce the amount of people suffering at their hands.

Very often, someone who is inflicting abuse of one kind or another on someone wants help but is unable to take the steps to ask for it or receive it. There are many sexual abusers who have been caught or reported to the authorities that have expressed relief at the fact that they have been caught, as they wanted to stop but were unable to. This shows that their behavior is tied to a past trigger and San Diego therapists can work with them to re-pattern the subconscious to change the habitual behavior they were suffering from.

This is not an easy route by any means and the abuser has to want to make changes, as without this consent and willingness to work for change, the change will not happen and the behavior will continue. The good news is that San Diego therapists can help remove unwanted behavior and encourage a healthier outlook for many people in these situations.

Do you know of anyone who might need help right now?

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

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Fix cracks in a relationship with the help of therapists

As therapists, we know that there are many things that can drive a person to have an extramarital affair. These driving factors are not always about the individual falling out of love with his or her partner. The person having the affair may cover or conceal the fact from their partner or they may reveal it all. Once an affair has been discovered or revealed then there are a variety of ways that individuals might use to address the problem.

Do nothing

Some people deal with issues in their lives by doing nothing. Their coping mechanism is to just compartmentalize or bury feelings and carry on as if nothing has happened. This learned behavior will have been evident since childhood and there may well be a root cause to it that needs dealing with. However, they may be able to ignore the feelings of hurt, jealousy or anxiety for some time, but eventually denying these feelings can lead to more hurt, sometimes in the form of a physical ailment.

Shout and scream

Sometimes when people are faced with their partner’s infidelity, their anger can take on dramatic proportions. That is not to make light of the situation, but anger in overdrive is not conducive to helping anyone. In situations like this violence can often get out of hand, as many law enforcers can testify.

Make them pay

Some people react to infidelity by saying they forgive their partners but make them pay every day of their lives for their behavior. This kind of reaction may be completely unconscious, or it may be undertaken with intention. Either way therapy is needed to make the situation healthier for all concerned.

Break up

Sometimes when a partner has had an affair, there is little that any San Diego therapists can do to help and there is inevitability in the relationship breaking up. Not all relationships do end when faced with infidelity. Sometimes it can have the effect of cementing a relationship and bringing a couple closer together. That is only if the couple can work together to overcome the issues that caused the problem in the first place. Some people are so insecure that they seek to have an affair to raise their self-esteem. For some it is a repetitive destructive habit and if the root cause is not found and the cycle broken, then this person may end up alone and unhappy.

And... the correct path – Seek counseling!

Many San Diego therapists deal with marital and family problems every day. Therefore, seeking help from such a therapist will help the relationship to heal, if that is what both parties want. However, the process will require a lot of soul searching and revealing innermost thoughts and hurts. Many therapists have counseled couples and during the joint session facts have emerged that have never been discussed between the couple and sometimes the other partner has not even been aware of them.

Many people think they know why they exhibit certain behavior traits, but the majority of the time the real reason is far different. Making an appointment with your San Diego therapists is the first step to having a loving union restored; make sure that there’s no room for regrets!

Awaken your inner SAGE at SAGE Therapy Center!  SAGE stands for Self-Awareness, Growth, and Enlightenment. Embark on a journey to self-realization or restore broken relationships, we will help light your way.

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Need someone to talk to? Trust in your therapist

If you are looking for therapists in San Diego, there are many to choose from, so how do you make that choice? Well, one of the answers depends on what kind of therapist you are looking for. If you need a massage therapist to help you recover from an old wound or for rehabilitation purposes, then you would need to find someone qualified in this area. However, looking for therapists in San Diego that deal with traumatic emotional problems is a little different.

Trusting someone with your innermost thoughts and feelings can leave you feeling very vulnerable. In fact it may have taken you a long time to even reach the conclusion that you can find help to release the burdens that you feel, whatever the cause of your issue is. Not all therapists are in a position to be able to help everyone. A lot of the help you get from therapists depends on whether you trust them and whether you feel comfortable in their presence and in their abilities.

Choose psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a very powerful form of therapy that can help you weed out the needless worry and anxiety that is causing problems in your life. It will not necessarily remove all problems in life, as clearly this is impossible, but what it will do is help you face, understand and deal with issues more effectively so that when you meet a challenge in life you can easily combat it and deal with it without the need to take the issue on board as a personal challenge.

Your psychotherapist should be fully trained and licensed to practice. This is very important as someone who is not qualified in the area of help you seek, can leave you with more problems than you went with. Psychotherapy is one of the areas where the therapist should have a variety of counseling experiences.

Honesty is the best policy

When you do attend your first session with any of your chosen therapists in San Diego, then it is in your best interests to be honest and open about your problems. There is little point trying to mislead the therapist knowingly. This is wasting your time and money and also that of the therapist’s time. Of course some things may be painful to talk about, but talking about them with your therapist is your first step to overcoming and releasing them. It may be that you have never been in a position to talk to anyone about your issues, or perhaps you have never really trusted anyone as a result of issues that have happened to you.

However, your therapist will be patient and understanding as she has seen many people with similar problems and has helped them move forward to lead a nurturing and successful life. At the end of the day, whether you release the past and move forward is entirely up to you. Therapists in San Diego can only do so much and they can only work with the information they are presented with, so be honest and you will find yourself quickly moving towards achieving wholeness.

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Connect with your child through play therapy

Therapy in San Diego - Play therapy

It is said that play is considered as the universal language of children. Play serves an important role in a child’s development. It is much more than just a means to pass time. It is a form of expression where children can learn more about themselves and experience their first relationships through their play with other children.

Just as crying and screaming are forms of expression, it is in this way that through play that children are able to develop their emotional selves. Though they still may not have the necessary verbal and language abilities to communicate their feelings, they are still able to channel their feelings and emotions through play. Play can be utilized by parents as a means to create a strong bond with their young children. It is through playing that parents can provide love and attention to their children in ways that a child can appreciate.

On the other hand, play can also be utilized by parents and guardians as a means to foster growth and development among children. By playing with certain types of toys, a child’s motor as well as intellectual abilities are improved and developed. Among its many benefits, play therapy in San Diego is also being used in certain therapies and sessions. Based on various researches, it was found out that play can be used in solving emotional and psychological problems that children may experience. With their young minds, expressing the right emotions and words is very challenging for them. By understanding these facts, it can indeed be a problem when it comes to situations that are traumatic to a child. These events can have a great bearing on the welfare of a young child.

Knowing Play Therapy in San Diego

In the event of a traumatic situation, play can be used in it comes to rendering therapies. Play therapy is a form of psychotherapy that makes use of play and is designed to encourage the expression of positive emotions and self-esteem in a child. The concept of play therapy was first established during the first quarter of the 20th century. Through play therapy, people are able to help children develop healthy emotions and thoughts. Unlike the usual play, play therapy aims to encourage children to know as well as express themselves. It’s also the therapy being used by psychologists in terms of helping children get over traumatic experiences such as abuse, maltreatment and discrimination.

Understanding the process of play therapy in San Diego

During the said therapy, children are allowed to do something they clearly enjoy which is playing. With the presence of a facilitator during the therapy itself, children can take the opportunity to play and at the same time express any feelings or concerns that they may have. In comparison to other types of therapies, there are no strict rules and guidelines being implemented when it comes to undergoing the process of play therapy. The success and the flow of play therapy will greatly depend on the facilitator’s ability to establish a strong rapport with the child and create or re-create situations that evoke the desired emotional response.

It is important to take note and put into consideration the fact that play therapy in San Diego can take weeks and even months before expected results can be seen. With this fact, it is essential that parents as well as facilitators must have the necessary amount of patience and understanding with their children.