Living Well Through Therapy

Couples Therapy: Strengthen Your Relationship

Being in a committed relationship can be hard work.  The hard work is well worth it, but overtime couples begin to take each other for granted and communication skills begin to weaken.   As this happens one or both of the people in the relationship begin to feel resentment since their needs are not being met. This is a common occurrence and almost all couples will experience this situation.  The ones that take action are the ones that more often than not are the ones that save their relationship.   The best course of action for couples is to engage a trained therapist for couples therapy.

Couples therapy is when a couple engages in therapy to help resolve issues they are having and to help strengthen their relationship.   A successful couple’s therapist is one who has been trained through experience.  Experience is very important since treating two people who are often in direct conflict with one another adds many challenges to the therapy session.

During couples therapy the therapist is not there to be the referee.  Their main goal is to facilitate behavior modification between the partners.  Usually, one or both of the partners in the relationship has slipped into a cycle of detrimental behavior. The therapist will listen to the couple interact and then can re-frame the emotions of one of the partners so that they can perhaps see things from the point of view of their partner.  The therapist tries to impart the couple with an awareness of the relationship so that their partner’s feelings are taken into account as they manage their own.    Often times, couples become complacent in the relationship and their partner’s feelings are not honored and validated as they were at the start of the relationship.

As the therapist works to modify the couple’s behavior toward one another they will help the couple to recognize and avoid improper communication. Poor communication is almost always a key issue between couples.  Over time this poor communication will undermine the relationship.  Enhancing objectivity is another technique a therapist may use in couples therapy.  This helps the couple to really look at their own behavior and allows them to see how it impacts their partner.   The therapist will also highlight the strengths of the relationship so that the couple can recognize the positive of the relationship and not just dwell on the negative.

Couples therapy is an effective means by which many couples, from those just beginning a relationship to those who have been together for many years, learn the effective skills to bolster and even salvage their relationship.    By modifying the couple’s behavior through enhancing better communication techniques, fostering objectivity, and helping each partner to become conscience in the relationship a couples therapist can make the difference between a successful relationship and failed one.

Photo Credit: you mee

Art Therapy: The Power of Self Expression

For thousands of years mankind has been expressing itself through art.  From the cave paintings of early man to the masterpieces of the renaissances era to the street art of graffiti artists today, people have felt the need to express their emotions and thoughts through art.   Creating art, be it a painting, a drawing, music or even dancing to your favorite beat, is a means by which we communicate how we feel inside without having to verbalize our emotions.   Researches and therapists recognized this and in the 1940s Art Therapy became a recognized therapeutic method.

Art therapy can be a therapeutic tool.  One by which a person can relieve stress and relax as they concentrate on their creation.  This can be done with or without a trained therapist assisting a client.  Many people engage in this type of stress relieve on a daily basis as they draw, paint or dance.  Art therapy can also be used in a more psychoanalytical approach in which a trained art therapist uses a client’s creation to facilitate the communication between therapist and client.  With the help of art therapy a therapist can help a client to process emotions, explore feelings, foster self-awareness, work on behavior control and develop better social skills.

Utilizing art therapy in sessions with clients, a therapist can help the client to focus on their inner experiences.  Some clients, such as children with learning disabilities and adults suffering from severe stress, have a difficult time articulating what they feel.   With art therapy client’s inner feelings, imagination and perceptions are expressed for the therapists to observe.  The art the client creates helps to expose who they are on the inside without the interference of the outside world clouding the picture.

The use of art therapy is employed in many different environments.    These include private therapy sessions, group therapy sessions, hospitals and senior centers.  Wherever used, art therapy is a powerful and useful tool in helping people recognize and overcome many of the challenges they face in face.

Using Pets for Therapy

The next time you pet your favorite furry friend, you many not even know that the smile you’re left with is one of the most powerful forms of therapy. Since the 1970s researches have understood that introducing a pet into therapy sessions has amazing and long lasting effect. Pet therapy is a broad term used to describe the use of pets to treat everything from heart disease, cancer and mental disorders.

Pet therapy is not limited to dogs and cats. Parrots, fish and horses are quite popular as well and all provide positive results.

The Happy Hormone 

It’s well understood that petting a dog or watching fish swim around makes us smile and helps us relax, but the reason for this is the hormone oxytocin. Researches have found that interacting with animals increases our body’s production of oxytocin. When we produce more oxytocin the effects are wonderful: We feel happy; our blood pressure is reduced; and our body actually produces more cells prompting a better healing rate.

Pets in Therapy

Beyond making people feel happy, pets can provide a means by which two people can connect. This is quite important in therapy sessions as well as everyday life. In a therapy session a pet can provide a sense of security and safety that allows the therapist and their client to better develop a rapport. The therapist can also use the pet and the pet’s care as a way to discuss and teach nurturing skills to their clients. Children are especially susceptible to the charms of an animal and they can learn empathy from the animal.

Cats and parrots are often used to help treat people with impulse control or aggression issues. The animal will move away from the client once they become agitated. The therapist can then point this out and the situation can be worked through before things become too stimulating. With troubled teens horses have been shown to increase self-esteem since caring for such a large animal is a big responsibility. Also, the teen learns to regulate and control their emotions to avoid spooking the horse.

PTSD and Dogs

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is prevalent in soldiers returning from war. Introducing a therapy dog in the soldier’s treatment has shown to help decrease their need of drugs to treat symptoms. The dogs are trained to recognize when a soldier is starting to experience their PTSD symptoms and either licks or nudge them to signal their symptoms are escalating. This helps the soldier to better control and deal with the symptoms before they become unmanageable.

Getting The Most Out Of Therapy For Couples

Many people have come to believe that when a marriage requires therapy, then it is on its deathbed and it cannot be put back on track. Unfortunately, TV and movies have propagated this myth, where all the couples in therapy seem to end up in divorce. The fact of the matter is that many marriages have been saved by couple's therapy.

Many excellent therapists have helped couples to get their relationship back on track. Stories abound of couples who have sought therapy when the divorce papers were in the works, and the therapy has helped to restore their marriages.

Objectivity

One of the benefits of couple's therapy is that the couple learns how to be objective and stops blaming the other party. A good therapist is able to change the views of the couples who are able to stop blaming each other. This is the first step in creating an atmosphere where work on the marriage can begin.

When couples start going to a therapist, each party goes in feeling that their spouse is to blame for the marital problems. They do not see their part in the problems and this clouds their judgment. The couple has to learn how to identify their role in the rift, so that they can start to rebuild the marriage.

Behavior modification

Couples therapy attempts to change how couples treat each other. This behavior towards the other party leads to resentment and is the cause of many problems in marriage. The therapist helps the couple to treat each differently and to stop engaging in behavior that causes harm.

A good therapists is able to assess the situation to find out the extent of the harm, whether it is physical or psychological. If the behavior of one partner is causing serious harm to the spouse, the therapist can recommend that the abused party take measures that will ensure their safety.

Dealing with emotions

Most couples going through problems use emotional avoidance to keep their feelings to themselves. They keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves to avoid appearing vulnerable. This causes walls to come up and the couple grows apart. There are many marriages where the couple has built such high walls that they do not even know their partners any more. A good therapist will help to dismantle the walls so that the couple can let each other in. This can help to bring back closeness in the relationship.

Enhanced communication

A marriage cannot survive without communication. Every therapy session focuses on enhancing communication because without effective communication the marriage is dead. Remember, lack of effective communication leads to misunderstanding, suspicion, loss of intimacy, and even abuse. When people fail to communicate, the other party is left to speculate about their thoughts and intentions.

When people 'talk at' each other instead of 'talking to' each other, resentment grows and there is lack of respect. This causes problems in the marriage. A therapist can teach the couple how to communicate without causing resentment. They are given steps that help them to improve their communication in order to avoid conflict so seek help today, don't let love fail when it's not meant to be so!

5 Signs That Indicate You Should Take Your Teenager To A Therapist

Most parents would agree that teenagers are generally very hard to understand. They are at a point in their lives where they are in between being a happy, carefree child and a serious, responsible adult. It is normal for them to act a little differently at this phase and as such, it is hard to be able to tell what is normal behavior for them and what should have you worried.

It is advisable to take your teenager for therapy, even when they are not really exhibiting any worrying behaviors as being able to talk to a person that understands how they think and feel will help them in making their transition to adulthood much smoother. However, this is optional and chances are your child will still do well without it.

There are some signs however that should signal to you that your child absolutely needs professional help, do not avoid them.

1. Worrying behavior

It is somewhat difficult for most parents to tell which behavioral signals are real problems; you should be very keen about some basics.

If your teenager suddenly have a change in their appetite for instance, either they stop eating and keep saying they are not hungry, or you suspect that they force themselves to vomit what they have eaten, you need to take that child to a therapist.

Frequent complaints of stomachache/ headache, withdrawal from friends and other fun activities as well as irregular sleeping habits should also indicate to you that your child is having a hard time coping with the changes around them. Get a good therapist who they can talk to about their problems.

2. Distress

If you notice signs of distress in your child, maybe they are particularly emotional and appear to be going through a hard time, you should take them to a therapist.

3. Substance abuse

If you find signs that your child is abusing any form of substance, including alcohol, get them professional help. There are many ways to find this out. If you find any of the paraphernalia used while abusing drugs such as needles, pipes or even if you notice bloodshot eyes and a funny smell, take your child to see a therapist.

They might probably not be able to tell you about their drug use, but they should be able to confide in a therapist.

4. Reckless behavior

While most teenagers will make foolish decisions at one point or the other, you should not ignore some things. If your teenager ever runs away from home without any prompting, or you hear them talk about suicide, even though it is in a joking manner, do not ignore this. Get your child some professional help as soon as possible to help them cope with what they are feeling.

5. If they ask you for help

This might not happen as frequently but if you have a good relationship with your child they might ask you for help when they feel unable to cope with some things. If your teenager turns to you for help and you do not know what to do, take them to a good therapist who is trained on handling such matters.

How Learning To Communicate Can Help You To Overcome Many Life Problems

Many people have a real problem communicating with others and they will go to great lengths to keep their thoughts to themselves, even when it is more beneficial to talk to someone. The society today glorifies individuality and self-achievement and showing any sign of weakness is viewed negatively.

Many people will struggle to deal with issues themselves, even when they know that it would be much easier to talk to someone or ask for help. Learning to communicate can help people to overcome many of the problems they are facing.

What does communication entail?

Communication is basically about expressing your thoughts, feelings, wants and opinions with others. Effective communication will require at least two people and it entails both talking and listening. A good communicator has to be a good listener. One of the marks of a good therapist is the ability to listen and understand what the patient is communicating.

It is easier to talk than to listen and it takes skill to be a good listener.  For the communication to be effective, the listener has to be able to accurately interpret and understand what the other person is saying.

Problems in communication

Effective communication is often hampered by several factors, and depending on the issue, it can take several attempts to get the message across. Sometimes, the speaker can make the communication process difficult by speaking in a low tone. Other problems include avoiding the real issue by including too many details or trying to skirt around the main message.

Using body language or non-verbal cues that contradict the verbal message, or paying too much attention to try to figure out the listener's reaction are both issues in communication too. Most people who find it difficult to communicate are constantly worried about being judged and this causes them to say what they think the listener wants to hear, instead of what they really think.

How to be a good listener

For communication to be successful, there has to be effective listening. Many people think that they need to offer advice or opinions when sometimes all that is required is listening. A good therapist learns the value of silence and how listening can help a patient to open up and reveal everything that is on their mind. To be a good listener you must be interested in what the other person is saying.

You must avoid being preoccupied with other thoughts or trying to formulate a rebuttal while the person is talking. Do not let your opinions stop you from listening to what the other person has to say. It is also important to be an active listener and this means making an effort to understand what the person is saying. This requires feedback and trying to verify or get clarity on the details before responding.

Good communication is necessary for the survival of any type or relationship. Whether it is a friendship, marriage, business or work relationship, the parties have to be able to communicate if they hope to work together. Many relationships have broken down simply because the parties had difficulty communicating. Remember, a small issue can grow out of proportion due to lack of communication!

Do You Know How To Understand And Prevent Suicide?

Undeniably, suicide is a topic that many people do not want to talk about. It is very sad considering the fact that the rate of suicide has gone up especially among teenagers. Hardly a week goes by before you hear about a suicide or attempted suicide case. Many people who have committed suicide did not really want to die. They were hurting and did not know how to deal with the situation. They wanted to stop the pain and unfortunately, they chose suicide as the answer.

It is important to understand suicide in order to prevent it. Every time there has been a suicide, those closest to the victim have to deal with grief that is guilt-laden because in many cases, they had all the warning signs. Most people will not admit it but they rarely get surprised when a suicide occurs. In most cases, they are shocked and saddened but not surprised. You can prevent a suicide from occurring if you recognized the signs and took them seriously.

Preventing suicide

If you suspect that someone you know is contemplating suicide, you should talk openly about it. Do not shy away from the topic or feel like you are intruding. Talking openly about the suicidal feelings and thoughts can help to save the person's life. A suicidal person is usually looking for someone to talk to and feels like no one cares about his or her feelings. They are desperate for a way to end their suffering, and they suffer from feelings of isolation and self-loathing.

Suicidal individuals cannot see any other way out of their situation and it is important to be able to offer them an alternative. By talking to the person, you can show them that there are other ways to deal with the situation they are going through. It is important to note that suicidal people are usually conflicted about the decision to end their life and they will cling to an alternative if someone can show them one. By getting the individual to a therapist or psychologist, you can help to save their life.

Spotting the warning signs

Suicidal individuals will often give off many warning signs. They make their intentions clear in the hope that someone will stop them and offer alternative solutions. Some of the most common warning signs are talking about suicide, talking constantly about death or dying, writing about killing oneself, and reading or fascination with topics on death. Other signs include obtaining items that can be used in the suicide, such as guns or other weapons and drugs.

Other warning signs to look out for include mental disorders such as depression, mood changes, and drug and alcohol dependence. People with a history of previous suicide attempts are also more likely to try again. Those with a family history of suicide, or who have someone very close to them commit suicide, are more prone to committing suicide.

Other dangerous signs to look out for include feelings of hopelessness and sudden personality changes. If a teenager who was well behaved suddenly becomes rebellious, this is something to be wary about. The same is true if those who were happy and outgoing suddenly becoming withdrawn. The sooner you get the individuals into therapy, the better.

You Need To Get Past Trauma For A Better Quality Of Life!

Many people who have gone through traumatic situations can exhibit lifelong problems that can affect their lives. There are many forms of trauma, caused by issues like abuse, sickness, loss of a loved one and many more. People deal with trauma in many different ways, while there are some who have found positive ways to cope and even recover; others turn to destructive habits like drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders and other psychiatric issues.

Several trauma recovery programs are designed to help people with post-traumatic stress disorders and other conditions. While some people might get better after going through a treatment program for different addictions, others relapse especially if the underlying issues are not dealt with. Unresolved trauma can continue for a long time and issues that occurred in childhood can affect a person in their adult life.

1. Types of trauma

There are different types of trauma and they stem from either a physical or a psychological event. Identifying the type of trauma a patient is suffering from is key in the recovery process. The therapist needs to establish the root cause so that they can create a program that will help the patient. Trauma can occur after an intense event, and this one-time occurrence can affect an individual to an extent that they cannot cope with simple life issues. The single events that lead to trauma include accidents, rape, robbery, natural disasters and other disturbing events. The victims find it hard to cope after the events.

Another category of trauma affects those who have gone through repetitive or ongoing events. In this case, the patient may have gone through trauma for a long period. Sexual abuse, especially when it involves a family member, is one of the most common causes of this type of trauma. The trauma can also be due to physical abuse, neglect or abandonment, prolonged illness, kidnapping or captivity, and other forms of long-term violence.

2. Coping strategies

People who have gone through traumatic situations are unable to deal with the stress and they require treatment to help them deal with the situation. Therapists teach patients coping techniques or strategies that help them to deal with the stress. The victims mind is unable to get over the trauma even though it happened many years ago. They are unable to function normally because in their mind, the event is still current and they are unable to get past it.

Professional treatment is vital for those who may have gone through repeated abuse and are still going through trauma. The mind affects the rest of the body and having unresolved memories can be disabling. Trying to deal with life's issues becomes impossible because everything is linked to the trauma. This is the reason why many people who have been abused turn to substance abuse and other addictions.

3. Recovery

Trauma recovery programs can be very successful especially if the patient is committed to the treatment. Many people put off getting professional help because they think that they can deal with the problem themselves. Unfortunately, this has led to many people leading a miserable life, as they turn from one destructive habit to another in a futile attempt to dull the pain.

Combating Drug And Alcohol Addictions - The Benefits Of Behavior Therapy

Behavior therapy is based on the premise that a person's thoughts, and not their environment or circumstances, causes their behavior and feelings. You may not be able to change your environment, but you can change how you feel about it. This explains why two people who have gone through very similar circumstances can have very different results. The mind is very powerful and it is where all the battles occur. If you can change your mind, you can change your behavior and your thoughts.

Most people blame their circumstances for everything they are going through. They do not take responsibility for letting the circumstances affect them and this is what causes the problem. People turn to drugs and alcohol to try to deal with issues affecting them.

They may see this as a way to dull the pain, or as an escape mechanism. Unfortunately, this never works and it leads to the addictions. While physical dependence to drugs and alcohol can be treated through detox, medication and other programs, failure to treat the mind will inevitably lead to a relapse.

• Training the mind

It is important to train the mind to recover from the addiction and this requires cognitive behavioral therapy. The addict can get temporary help from treating the physical symptoms, but for full recovery to take place, the addict has to be able to avoid situations that lead to the behavior.

The patient learns how to recognize the situations that lead to the behavior, and is able to avoid the situations. Only through renewing the mind can the patient get relief. The circumstances may still be present but by learning how to think differently, they are able to cope without turning to the substances.

• Dealing with problems

Many people who become addicted to substances are unable to deal with any kind of problem. In many cases, this stems from their upbringing and they do not know how to deal with problems. A child who has grown up in a home where alcohol was always the result of every argument will see this as the only way to deal with problems.

Those who are exposed to drugs at an early age will start using the drugs because they associate them with normal life. They do not know any other way to deal with problems. The addicts have to learn a new way to deal with issues, in order to replace the system that they know.

• Benefits of counseling

People who are addicted to substances benefit from therapy or counseling because they are able to learn how to change their behavior patterns. In many cases, this is the first time that the individual is learning that they can do things differently. They learn new skills that are necessary in helping them to break the habits.

While some programs have both group therapy and individual therapy, there are people who do better in individual therapy where they get undivided attention from the therapist. There are several techniques used in therapy sessions and they are designed to help the addict and motivate him to recover fast.

Dealing With Substance Addiction - 4 Ways Therapy Can Aid In Recovery

Addiction to a substance is something that is very difficult to deal with. Many people who are addicted to various substances find it difficult to break the habit without professional help. Most people who are in therapy today are dealing with different addictions. Recovery is a complicated process and it is important to ensure that the individual has fully recovered both physically and psychologically. The physical part is usually easier to conquer than the psychological aspect.

1. In-patient Therapy

Addiction therapy is an essential part of the treatment process. Depending on the severity of the problem, residential therapy is very important for recovery. This form of therapy is beneficial because the individual can get individualized attention and monitoring during the treatment. Several programs offer therapeutic treatments such as individual counseling, spiritual care, physical therapy, coping and relaxation techniques and many more. Choosing the right program is a very important part of the healing process.

Through therapy, people learn how to remove the temptations that encourage the addiction, through the decisions they make every day. Therapists use different methods depending on the addiction and the individual. They find the best ways to treat each patient and they are able to monitor the results on a day-to-day basis.

2. Outpatient Therapy

Those who have addictions that are not so advanced, fare very well with outpatient therapy. This therapy is also useful for those who have gone through inpatient treatment and require additional care. The counseling techniques used are useful in ensuring that the patient remains in recovery and does not relapse. This therapy also helps people to cope with the world in their new state and they are able to reintegrate back into their daily lives.

3. Benefits of Therapy

Therapy has long-term benefits for people with addictions. While the duration for the treatment may differ, and the investment might seem high, it is worth the cost. It is time and energy well spent and it can help to restore one's life. Reversing the effects of a long-term habit may take some time but it is time that is well spent. It requires commitment but the benefits are well worth it. Some of these benefits include restored relationships, regained employment, clarity of mind, improved physical health, the ability to pursue goals, feelings of happiness, financial restoration and many more.

4. Finding Treatment

To ensure that you get all the positive benefits of therapy, it is important to look for a therapist who is well trained and experienced in dealing with the type of addiction that you have. Therapy programs differ and some are better than others are. If you want to get into an in-patient program, you need to get references to find the best programs.

You need to find places that offer customized treatment plans, where you will be treated like the unique individual that you are. The therapist you choose will determine how fast you can get better. A good therapist will look for the best way to deal with your situation according to your needs. Care and respect are very important qualities of a therapist and they help to enhance the treatment program.