Getting The Most Out Of Therapy For Couples
Many people have come to believe that when a marriage requires therapy, then it is on its deathbed and it cannot be put back on track. Unfortunately, TV and movies have propagated this myth, where all the couples in therapy seem to end up in divorce. The fact of the matter is that many marriages have been saved by couple's therapy.
Many excellent therapists have helped couples to get their relationship back on track. Stories abound of couples who have sought therapy when the divorce papers were in the works, and the therapy has helped to restore their marriages.
One of the benefits of couple's therapy is that the couple learns how to be objective and stops blaming the other party. A good therapist is able to change the views of the couples who are able to stop blaming each other. This is the first step in creating an atmosphere where work on the marriage can begin.
When couples start going to a therapist, each party goes in feeling that their spouse is to blame for the marital problems. They do not see their part in the problems and this clouds their judgment. The couple has to learn how to identify their role in the rift, so that they can start to rebuild the marriage.
Couples therapy attempts to change how couples treat each other. This behavior towards the other party leads to resentment and is the cause of many problems in marriage. The therapist helps the couple to treat each differently and to stop engaging in behavior that causes harm.
A good therapists is able to assess the situation to find out the extent of the harm, whether it is physical or psychological. If the behavior of one partner is causing serious harm to the spouse, the therapist can recommend that the abused party take measures that will ensure their safety.
Dealing with emotions
Most couples going through problems use emotional avoidance to keep their feelings to themselves. They keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves to avoid appearing vulnerable. This causes walls to come up and the couple grows apart. There are many marriages where the couple has built such high walls that they do not even know their partners any more. A good therapist will help to dismantle the walls so that the couple can let each other in. This can help to bring back closeness in the relationship.
A marriage cannot survive without communication. Every therapy session focuses on enhancing communication because without effective communication the marriage is dead. Remember, lack of effective communication leads to misunderstanding, suspicion, loss of intimacy, and even abuse. When people fail to communicate, the other party is left to speculate about their thoughts and intentions.
When people 'talk at' each other instead of 'talking to' each other, resentment grows and there is lack of respect. This causes problems in the marriage. A therapist can teach the couple how to communicate without causing resentment. They are given steps that help them to improve their communication in order to avoid conflict so seek help today, don't let love fail when it's not meant to be so!