Anger isn’t always easy to cope with. Repression, explosions, and chronic resentment are all examples of poorly handled anger. When anger isn’t handled well, the damage it does to our selves and our loved ones can be both visible and invisible.
1. Anger Avoidance: Fear of your own anger or anger in others causes you to lack assertiveness and to be walked on by others.
2. Sneaky Anger: Instead of openly expressing anger to others, you patronize (saying you’ll do something, but never intending to do it). This makes it difficult for you to know your own wants and needs.
3. Paranoid Anger: You believe people are out to get you or what you have. You view others as angry instead of acknowledging your own rage. This causes insecurity and mistrust.
4. Sudden Anger: Your sudden, explosive release of anger gives you a sense of relief afterwards. But, you can lose control and say and do things that you regret (and are possibly violent).
5. Shame-Based Anger: When someone ignores you or says something negative you see it as proof that the other person dislikes you as much as you dislike yourself. You lash out at the other person and fell worse about yourself.
6. Deliberate Anger: Your goal is to get what you want by threatening or overpowering others (bullying). This often backfires back on you.
7. Addictive Anger: You feel powerful when you explode. You pick fights to gain that intensity and emotional excitement.
8. Habitual Anger: You look for the worst in everything and get angry over little things. Life is predictable, safe and stable – even if it is unhappy.
9. Moral Anger: You feel justified in your anger when others have broken a rule or been bad. You need to punish or scold that person. There is no middle ground in your way of viewing the world (black ad white thinking), you attack problems or differences or opinion instead of compromising or empathizing.
10. Hate: Hate is anger that never gets resolved. You can’t forgive or move on. You think about ways of punishing the other person and sometimes act on those ideas. You become bitter and frustrated.